Covering information that shouldn't be caught out in the open.
Covering information that shouldn't be caught out in the open.
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May 2006
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May 30, 2006 Signs of the times Speaking of bears and illegal immigration (May 23 entry), somebody sent me this “proposal for a revised California state flag.”
Now, if you're not from around these parts, you may not get the joke. But in southern California, there are actually road signs that warn motorists of “illegal alien crossing.” To my knowledge there are only two, on either side of Interstate 5 as it goes through Camp Pendleton, between Orange County and San Diego. Like this.
The signs are at a natural choke point between the Pacific Ocean and some formidable hills on the Marine base. And there's a Border Patrol vehicle inspection station nearby. Now, I've often wondered whether these signs made any sense. I can just see a family of... uh... undocumented migrant workers (to use just one of the many modern euphemisms for illegal aliens) noticing this sign, along Interstate 5 (where the average speed seems to be 75 - 80 mph), coming to the realization “Maria! Chico! Look! Here is a place to cross! They even put up a sign!” [Splat]. That said, in nearly 20 years, I have never actually seen any potential illegal aliens along that road. Not to be outdone, one of the surf towns along the southern coast (Encinitas? Carlsbad? Solana Beach?) put up its own sign along Highway 101, the Pacific Coast Highway.
May 24, 2006 More strange machines I drove down to San Diego today and popped into the San Diego Automotive Museum. Spent some time wandering around this nice collection, which always seems to have some new/old things on display. The current theme is "Dune Buggies." They've got the very first, the original Meyers Manx, the VW-powered thing that started the whole dune buggy craze of the 1960s.
Since one of my interests is oddball engines (as in "what were they thinking???"), I took some photos of an Ariel Square Four motorcycle they had on display.
Beautiful detail work. Now, the best way to explain the engine layout is to imagine four cylinders, arranged vertically, packed into the corners of a box. They drive two crankshafts, geared together, like this.
Why? Well, it's one way to pack more than two cylinders into the available space. More cylinders = more smoothness. Sure, you could have them sticking out, horizontally, like a longer version of BMW's flat twins (or, like a VW Beetle flat four engine), but then the thing would look like it has Prince Charles' ears. There are, of course, the obvious disadvantages to the design, which is why it never caught on.
The unbearable problem of illegal immigration Popular opinion in the United States is that there is a problem with the nation's borders. Undocumented aliens coming and going as they please. Getting a free lunch at the expense of others. That sort of thing. Well, Germany has a problem like that too. It seems that for the first time since 1835 (yes, 171 years), a brown bear has been sighted in the wild in Germany. And Germany is freaking out. (“Omigawd, why doesn't Chancellor Merkel do something???”) It seems that an adolescent brown bear (one o' them young punk bears) has wandered from South Tirol, in northern Italy, through the Austrian provinces of Tirol and Vorarlberg, thence to Bavaria. (Some sources say it came from Slovenia. Must have an accent). Along the way it has raided chicken coops and pigeon lofts, has killed several sheep and injured a few more, and even helped itself to some beehives – the kind found in old, hollow logs. In other words, doing what bears do, in the woods and elsewhere.
Now, the powers that be in Bavaria have put out a contract on the critter.
One suspects the sheep weren't thrilled, either.
I can see it now. [Chimes: bong BING bong!] “Achtung: Bear! Achtung: Bear! Please to stay indoors!” Or tune in to Der Wetterkanal for the daily bear report. Another article. "Hit Squad Seeks Happy Wanderer."
What should we sing? Should we sing well or poorly? Are bears enraged by off-key singing? I propose... Elvis Presley, “Teddy Bear.” Or “The Bear Went Over the Mountain.” Possibly even Disney's “Bear Necessities.” But not Bob Dylan's “Talking Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues.” (Unless sung by somebody other than Whinin' Bob Dylan; he can write, but he can't sing for... well, for bear squat). If that radio positioning device also received satellite radio, maybe the bear would tune in, turn on, and drop out – back to the green hills of Tirol.
The guy's name is Werner Snapup? That's unfortunate. Probably had a rough childhood. Nobody comes to harm? Crikey, in my friend Jeff's Colorado neighborhood, the bears are part of the landscape. They roam the streets at night. Put out your trash too early, and the bears will go through it – looking for credit card receipts, bank statements, and such. Then they phone in orders to an Internet grocery. When the credit card statement arrives and it includes several hundred dollars for honey, you can blame the bears. (Larson's The Far Side probably has the last word on bear muggings). Last summer, while visiting Jeff and Carol, we were sitting on the upper deck and heard something tromping through the bushes down around the lower deck. It was a bear, of course. The only shooting anybody would have considered was with a camera. (See Jeff's August 2, 2005 entry). A German environmental group has demanded that Mr. Snapup rescind the contract, commenting that “the decision is typically German” and “we are making fools of ourselves throughout the world.” Well, yeah. But don't let that stop you (it never stops us). Next comes word that the Church (that's the Church) is getting into the fray. The Archbishopric of Munich and Freising points out that it can be no coincidence that this bear has wandered in from the Italian Tirol. In just three months, Pope Benedict XVI will be visiting his old stomping grounds (do Popes stomp? Do bears live in the woods?) in Munich, and indeed has adopted the Bear of St. Corbinian, from the Freising coat of arms, into his personal crest. It's a Sign! I can just see the bear, staggering into a church, dart stuck in his rump, hunters and dogs in hot pursuit, wheezing “Sanctuary! Sanctuary!” (This is yet another reason we should all support the right to arm bears). There are, of course, other ways to co-exist with bears. (There's also a short sequel). STOP THE PRESSES! This just in! The bear bugged out! Go Bears!
May 15, 2006 Land Speed Record I ran across a web site for a group that plans to recapture the Land Speed Record (currently held by the British Thrust SSC II at 763 mph) for the United States. And they plan to do this using a Lockheed F-104 Starfighter that is, as it were, takeoff-challenged. The “car” is built using what's left of F-104 number 56-0763, which was flown by some of the most famous test pilots including the late Scott Crossfield who was killed in the crash of his private Cessna just a few weeks ago. It used to look like this
but now it looks like this
Note that neither this nor Thrust SSC II is wheel-driven; they're basically airplanes that (hopefully) don't fly. The fastest wheel driven car to date is Don Vesco's Turbinator at 458 mph, in 2001. More records here. Vesco died of cancer just a little over a year after setting the record. More on Vesco here including a video of the 458 mph record run, from inside the car. Interestingly, this broke the turbine wheel-driven speed record which had been set by Donald Campbell (son of Sir Malcolm Campbell, see my April 16, 2006 entry) way back in 1964. I remember as a kid, seeing the 409 mph Summers Brothers' Goldenrod with its four Chrysler Hemi engines, on display at the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. Goldenrod remained the fastest piston-driven car for nearly 26 years, until beaten by less than 1 mph by Al Teague in 1991. But Teague's car was “blown” – supercharged. Forty-plus years after its record runs, Goldenrod remains the fastest non-supercharged car in the world, and is now owned by the Henry Ford Museum at Greenfield Village, Michigan.
May 14, 2006 Why French fry oil is not an automotive power source Increasingly these days, we are subject to news stories and press releases about how much energy we could save if only we poured waste fry oil from restaurants into the fuel tanks of diesel cars, and motored happily along, spreading the smell of French fries throughout the happy, now import-free land. Ain't gonna happen, and after a little thought, it should be obvious to anybody. The blessed media, of course, can't think numerically, or doesn't want to, as long as they can fill their air slot or the white space between print ads with stories about how we have this wunnerful energy source right in front of us and we're not using it. (“Why doesn't the President do something???”) For example, take the case of one Dr. Garrett Sullivan, an anesthesiologist in Summit County, Colorado.
We need some more data: Summit County's population. Wikipedia says
Another claim says estimated 2004 population was 24,950. Close enough. More information is at the county chamber of commerce web site. That tells us that of an estimated 2003 population of 27,114, there were nearly 16,000 workers, of which 10,481 drove to work alone, 1998 carpooled, and 802 took public transit (I presume the rest walked). So I make that about 11,500 privately-owned vehicles taking people to work every day. (I can't easily find the number of registered motor vehicles in the county, but that's enough to start). OK, let's do the math. 200,000 gallons of oil divided by 250 restaurants makes 800 gallons per year per restaurant, or 2.2 gallons per day. To fill your fuel tank just once, you have to go begging at half a dozen greasy spoons (and hope none of your fellow energy-conscious neighbors got there first), or have one restaurant save a week's worth, just for you. As I've pointed out before, consider how many cars have pulled into that restaurant in the same timeframe, and how much fuel they used to get there. And consider all the other traffic that goes past without stopping; they need fuel too. That one restaurant is going to be hard-pressed to throw away enough oil to satisfy its share of the total demand. Let's take that 200,000 gallons of waste vegetable oil, and assume it all gets turned into 100% biodiesel. That works out to 8.49 gallons per resident per year. Or 0.0233 gallons per resident per day. At 128 ounces per gallon, that's about 3 ounces per person per day – less than half a cup. Or, call it 90 cc, or six tablespoons. Tablespoons! Who can measure fuel in tablespoons? The float bowls on my old car's carburetors take more than six tablespoons. They probably evaporate more than that just sitting there overnight. Let's assume four persons per household, so they can pool their per-capita share of biodiesel. That makes it 12 ounces per family per day – call it a small beer bottle full. Put that in the family car, and how far will it take you? Let's figure it's a nice economical diesel sedan, not a three-ton diesel crew cab pickup with dually wheels and all-wheel drive (popular in that part of Colorado, for good reasons). Let's figure a nice 30 mpg fuel economy for the sedan. Twelve ounces will take that car just a bit less than three miles. If you assume the 200,000 gallons per year is conservative, just double it, and you still get less than six miles per day per family car. Now, I live in a fairly well built up suburban area. The nearest corner gas station is nearly a mile away. The supermarket is about two miles away. The nearest place likely to dump waste fry oil is right next to the supermarket. So if everybody were using 100% waste oil based biodiesel, my share would be just about enough to get me to the source, once per day, with nothing left over to go anywhere else. In my area, the idea of running more than a tiny handful of cars on waste fry oil is absurd. It might provide gloating points for the Birkenstock crowd for a little while – until more of them come aboard and suddenly there's a waste oil shortage. Or let's look at the available waste oil and the number of vehicles taking people to work. It comes out to 200,000 gallons / 11,500 vehicles / 365 days = 0.048 gallons per day per commuter vehicle, or just over 6 ounces, or at 30 mpg, 1.4 miles. So work had better not be more than three-quarters of a mile away if this particular community expects to meet all its transportation energy demands with waste fry oil. And I can walk 3/4 mile in such a short time that I wouldn't even want a car for that. One other point to consider: Summit County probably has more than its fair share of eateries throwing out waste vegetable oil. The county lives on tourism. The hotel/motel and food service industries account for nearly half of the county's jobs. So the amount of oil available in other areas, where tourism (and eating out) is less of a factor, will be significantly lower. Thanks to Google Ads, there's now biodiesel-related advertising appearing in the left-hand column of this diary. Let's see what they claim. One is biodieselathome.com Their lowest-priced processor cranks out 30 gallons and costs $2775. Hmmm... At $3.50 per gallon of diesel, that's 793 gallons. At 30 mpg, that's 24,000 miles, or two years' worth of driving. I would have to get waste fry oil for free, for two years, and figure my time is worth zero, to break even on this idea. I figure the waste fry oil will be free only until there's enough earth muffins scrounging for the stuff to make the restaurants realize that there's another (tiny) profit center here, and they stop giving it away. The fabulous flying Tappet Brothers, hosts of the radio program “The Car Show,” raised some points on a bulletin board. Look beyond the flame war from the true believers, and you see there may be some real concerns, engineering as well as environmental, about using this stuff. So now the cost goes up, beyond just buying the wonderful processor. That thread really brings out what Tom and Ray Magliozzi call “the biodiesel Nazis.”
May 11, 2006 Or is it solo-maniacal solutions? Re yesterday's modest proposal for alternative fuel sources and social engineering:
After all, don't those self-serving, feel-good ads by oil companies always tell us that they're not about oil, they're about people?
May 10, 2006 Solomonaic Solutions Two apparently disconnected pieces of information: 1) Did you know that “America is the only country in the world where poor people are fat”? And that “more people die in the United States of too much food than of too little.” 2) Expanding on the idea of biodiesel fuel, a New Zealander had liposuction done to himself, and had the results rendered to make one liter of biodiesel fuel. Wired Magazine covered this. He plans to set a new round-the-world powerboat record with a diesel-powered craft called Earthrace, which looks for all the world like a prop from a Batman movie. (Thanks to Autoweek for the pointer in their May 15 issue, on the funnies page).
Now, I like to solve two problems with a single, incredbily ingenious solution. I believe I have have hit upon a way to solve the obesity and the energy problems at a single stroke. With an added cash benefit for poor people. You'd just have homeless folks chowin' down them beans, packin' on the pounds, then standing in line at the liposuction bank instead of the blood bank. And you wouldn't have to screen for AIDS or hepatitis in their contributions, either; diesel injection pumps don't care. Now, doesn't this make a lot more sense than having the agribiz lobby force a token percentage of their soybeans, at exorbitant cost, into our fuel tanks? And I'll bet there's a lot more money for the growers in a pound of soybeans sold as chow, than the profit from turning it into fuel. (Wired says you can get 50 gallons of biodiesel from an acre of beans; I'll bet an acre's yield sells for many times that as food. Yup. See farther down). Wired also has an interesting overview of the numbers for biodiesel, which ties in with my April 22 blatherings: there just isn't enough bio to make enough biofuel to matter. It's all just a scam on the part of the agribiz lobby.
In other words, if we stop growing food and turn every last productive acre in the country into fuel crops, we would still only cover 27% of our fuel needs. And starve in the process. (Historically, Brazil tried to do this, growing domestic sugar cane to make ethanol. For a while, all Brazilian cars ran on straight ethanol. The experiment failed, miserably, when growers got more for sugar on the world market than the equivalent cost of imported OPEC oil). I just checked - figure soybean crop yields at about 40 bushels per acre. Today, soybean futures were trading at $6.09 per bushel. Doing the math, that's about $240 per acre. If we can get 50 gallons of biodiesel from the same acre, it would have to return nearly $5/gallon to the farmer, to bring in more profit than growing soy for food. And that $5/gallon is just the farmer's cut. Add in the refiner, distributor, retailer, and all the federal and state fuel taxes, and it's clear that biodiesel is a non-starter unless crude oil goes to several hundred dollars a barrel. But the human liposuction banks would work, I tell you. OK, so you don't get enough lard out of the typical lardass to drive a car very far. But consider, if there were Federally mandated minimum prices for lard contributions, say, $500/liter (pardon the mixed units, but "health care professionals" prefer them highfalutin' metric things), and Federal fuel standards required, say, one-one hundredth of one per cent Homodiesel™ added to regular fuel, it would only add 20 cents to a gallon. You would need to extract some 9.2 million gallons of lipo-lard per year, but that amounts to only one gallon for every 33 residents. Surely we have that many poor people? If not, the economy certainly seems to be able to make lots more; it may be the one thing we still make in this country. A real growth industry, as it were. And I just know (call it a gut feeling) they can put on enough fat in a year to more than make a gallon of lard. See? Isn't social engineering fun? Go ahead, ask me anything.
May 7, 2006 Reliving my childhood Going through more old stuff, I found this:
What the heck izzit? Well, in freshman year of high school, those who took electrical shop got to build this electric motor. From scratch, using magnet wire, cold-rolled flat steel, saws, files, drills, and soldering irons. Now, 37 years later, the commutator was a bit the worse for wear. It's just a piece of brass tubing, split down the middle and held together with bands of masking tape. So I replaced the one piece of tape that dried out and fell off, polished up the brass with some crocus cloth, fiddled with the tension on the brass wire "brushes," and hooked it up to 6 volts from a power supply. Guess what...
What's the point of all this? I dunno. Maybe that home-grown is more durable than offshore?
May 5, 2006 Classical pranksters, pathological liars, and my formative years Going through boxes of old stuff in the garage, I found an old copy of The Adventures of Baron Münchhausen and Till Eulenspiegel's Merry Pranks, in German, in a “Gothic script” typeface (which I can read, but it's no fun), with the subtitle “reworked for younger readers.” (Hmmm... wonder that they left out...) A search on ABEbooks turns up one German bookseller offering this particular edition (by Ferdinand Carl Loewes, of Stuttgart), stating that it was published about 1910.
What's that horse doing up there?
Actually, I liked the Terry Gilliam movie interpretation of Münchhausen. I thought it was one of his better efforts. More info on the making of the film. Here's a bio of the Baron, who actually existed. Next time you boot your computer, spare a thought for the good Baron Münchhausen; he claimed to be the first person to perform a “bootstrap” operation, and the expression apparently entered computer jargon by way of Robert A. Heinlein. If the likes of Münchhausen and Eulenspiegel weren't explanation enough, I found another example of the sort of early childhood reading (copyright 1960, 1962) that warped me into what I am today:
A kid could do a lot worse than to get caught up in the “How and Why Wonder Books” series.
May 3, 2006 Things nobody really needs, things nobody really does anymore I was rummaging through some boxes of old books in the garage and came across this.
I have no idea why anybody would buy what is essentially an outdated, ultra-precise calendar for airmen and mariners (and maybe astronomers). But on a whim I had a look at ABEbooks. Sure enough... Similar year.
Then there's the bigger, fatter, cloth-board-bound American Ephemeris and Nautical Almanac, which I also have (OK, so I used it in college and now it looks classy on the bookshelf amid astronomy books, and that's about it). You have to wonder how some used booksellers arrive at their asking prices.
Maybe people collect them (why? OK, some people collect calendars, but at least those have purty pictures). Some of the really antique volumes sell for a few bucks on Ebay, but stuff this recent goes unsold. Interestingly, the hardbound version has apparently been replaced, at least in part, by an almanac on CD-ROM that generates tables “on the fly.” And you don't have to buy a new one every year. In the 1990s, the Nautical Almanac office staff was apparently cut by 80%. Apparently the American Ephemeris and Nautical Almanac is no longer issued as such; the most recent I can find at ABEBooks is 1980. What they issue now in print form are the Astronomical Almanac, the Nautical Almanac, and the Air Almanac. Why anybody aboard an aircraft or ship would still need to commit celestial navigation with a sextant to get a position fix is beyond me (and I don't know of any modern aircraft that provide a navigator's bubble, an “astrodome”); maybe there's something happening at high (polar) latitudes the prevents GPS reception or something, but otherwise it sounds like another form of cadet hazing. This site gives some reasons:
Uh, OK. But four of those five are going to be a tough sell for any working mariner or airman. The Wikipedia entry for celestial navigation gives some reasons why it might still be useful, but seems to indicate that even the service academies dropped it with the advent of GPS.
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